Not only is today 🌹Mother’s Day, but it is my mother’s BORN DAY here on earth. She is an ancestor now, but in recent years I “feel” her and I “hear” her more than I ever had before. I don’t doubt that her energy has been with me over the past 25 years as I tried to figure out how to be a mother. But I lived most of those years angry that she transitioned when she had promised me she would show me how this motherhood thing worked, beginning with pregnancy and beyond. I understand more now how she kept her word to me after all.🙌🏿 Even when I felt I was doing it alone, I really wasn’t.

“Even when I felt I was doing it alone, I really wasn’t… ALL of my mothers have been helping me through motherhood since they transitioned.”

My husband met my mother and there have been times throughout our marriage where he would look at me and say, “How did you know that? You don’t know enough about that topic to know that… That was your Mom.” Until recently, I did not know how to respond to that, but now I do.

Today when I mentioned my Mom, Mama Maureen (my South African Mom) said, “Ancestors are our angels, hence in African culture we do “umsebenzi” for them to plead on our behalf and give light on the paths we take.”

Each year, I sense my Mom’s presence more and more… and I remind myself of the 1st law of thermodynamics that states (because STEM and that’s how I think):

“💥Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; 💥energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another”.

And so when I feel “her” wisdom…
When I hear “her” words flow through “my” mouth… 
When I notice that I handled a situation with my children the way “she” would have handled it… 
(I thought by now I would forget what her voice sounded like, but) when an answer comes to me in “her” familiar voice…
I audibly say, “Thank you, Momma.”🤗

I know that everyone does not view the roles of ancestors in the same way, but I have found peace in understanding that I am NOT a motherless child… ALL of my mothers have been helping me through motherhood since they left.

The influences of my mother, Johnnie Mae Gray Little, and her mother, Clara Ryans Gray, and my Big Momma (my Dad’s mom), Carrie Early Little, continue to be expressed through me and my sisters and our children and our cousins and everyone else who was blessed by their presence during their journeys here on earth.


On another note: In this photo, I think I resemble the form of the female reproductive system… broad ligament (look it up) and all. Can you see it? The first “live” one I saw was in the Dominican Republic during a c-section… That makes this photo even more special to me! #MyAncestorsLedMeBackToBirth🙌🏿❣️

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